"The Sea Was Angry That Day My Friends..."

"... like an old man trying to return soup at a deli." (It's clicky; I just can't embed.)

(Best.Seinfeld.episode.ever.)

Speaking of angry seas, tomorrow I am embarking on a 7-day sailing trip from the Chesapeake Bay to Newport, RI.  With the in-laws. The in-law part actually doesn't bother me that much; we get along swimmingly. 

It's the 7-days-in-cramped-quarters-with-no-land-in-sight that worries me.  I've never been offshore sailing before.  I really don't want Angry Panda to erupt:

 From me or the sea.  (Note to self: download lots of Kindle books.)

 Less this:

 

More this:

If I can blog from the boat, I will.  If I'm not back in a week, I've probably been eaten by a shark. Wish me luck!

Road Trip Wednesday: Literally

For this week's edition of Road Trip Wednesday, I decided to take things literally and write about actual road trips.

I love road trips! Some of my best memories come from cruising across the country with my sister and our friend, E, in Frosty the Snow Car (my sister's white Honda Accord) from CA to DE. Three girls, a dog, and our own devices - the perfect recipe for adventure! Even now that a demanding full-time job and the outrageous price of gas keeps me tethered to home, my wanderlust resurfaces every so often like a gopher in the prairie. 

I recently found a journal we kept for our inaugural cross country trip circa 2001. (I think it was 2001. We didn't bother recording the year, figuring the trip was So Monumentally Unforgettable.) With help from me and E to finish some hectic, last minute packing (is there any other kind?), we finally set off from Davis, CA around midnight on a 3,000-mile adventure across I-80 with a carful of my sister's worldly possessions.  (Remember when all your worldly possessions fit inside an Accord?  Oh, to be so carefree again...)

What nobody told three clueless teenagers driving across The Northern Tundra States (Utah, Nevada, Wyoming, Nebraska) in sub-zero December temperatures is that a functional windshield sprayer is fairly essential.  When salt from the road turns your windshield into a white blindfold of death and your wiper fluid is frozen in the sprayer, necessity really becomes the mother of invention.

"BIG PROBLEM - salt from road has covered windshield. Our brilliant solution: pour windshield wiper fluid into cup with coffee residue and attempt to throw it onto windshield while speeding at 80 mph. Unfortunately, after trying 3 times, we unsuccessfully cleaned shit. Most blew into the car and 1 sq. in. of the windshield is clean. Needs improvement."

(In subsequent road trips, we refined our Prototype. Yes, Prototype was still necessary because what passes for "Non-Freezing Wiper Fluid" in CA apparently cannot withstand the arctic freeze of The Northern Tundra States. So we sawed off the bottom half of a Gatorade bottle and duct taped it to a long wooden dowel. This way, we could easily reach across the entire windshield and dump fluid on it even while maintaining cruising speed. Brilliant, if I must say so myself.)

We also gleefully discovered that the most popular gas stations across the midwest are called "Kum & Go." *snicker*

"Day 3, circa 4:20. C is swerving madly around the road. We stop to get coffee at the Kum & Go (snort!) Ironically, in the bathroom the only dispenser machine sold every type of condom known to man."

Some of the weirdest memories are random conversations borne of endless interstate monotony. This was labeled "Random Ohio Conversations":

"Question for The Ages: What is a buckeye?

C:  It's an acorn.

J and E: What!? No way.

C:  It's true. An acorn looks like a buck's eye.

E:  Oh, so strawberries should be called...rabbit's heart?

J:  That's ridiculous. What the hell kind of mascot is a buckeye? Do bucks walk around Ohio with an eye gouged out?

C:  No, that would be buck eye-less."

But really, the most important part of a road trip is the soundtrack. Unfortunately, we were novice road trippers at this point and forgot to create a mix tape. Er, mix CD?  (This was before the age of iPods. God, I'm old.)  All we had was the trusty old radio, which gladly spewed forth the same five songs across six states.

It's Been A While (Staind)

You Remind Me (Nickelback)

Hanging By A Moment (Lifehouse)

Wherever You Will Go (The Calling)

Be Like That (Third Eye Blind)

Truly, this is a dreadful soundtrack.

In summary, I greatly miss J and E. I miss our road trips. When can we cast aside mortgages and responsibilities and get back on the road again?

Day 1 - When in Rome...

[NOTE: Sorry for the delay!  I couldn’t figure out how to connect to the wireless in our Rome hotel. Didn’t want to blog without pictures but now I’ve figured out the wireless situation in Florence!]

Day 1 – When in Rome…

…we must do as the Romans do!  No rest for the weary.

After a long flight from DC to Rome (where, in the future, I will gladly pay the extra fee on United for Economy PLUS leg room), we arrived in Rome very early on Friday morning.  After we deplaned (and my legs screamed for joy... or is that just lactic acid burning my flesh?), we picked up our luggage and flew through customs faster than the ink drying in my passport. 

We found the train station easily and hopped aboard towards Termini station.  At Termini, we fatefully decided to save money and take the metro to our hotel. BAD IDEA. Our metro line (Linea A) was at the far end of the station. Lugging 49.5 pounds (yes, you read that right) of luggage through hot underground tunnels, in morning rush hour with a wool scarf and heavy jacket, up and down flights of STAIRS, had me literally cursing our frugality.

But we finally made it to Barberini station and our hotel, the Daphne Inn (which is awesome.)  Tired as we were, we pressed on, determined not to fall victim to jet lag.  First stop: the Spanish steps.  Perhaps it was extreme fatigue, but I don’t see why it’s so famous.  They’re steps.  Walking up, you reach one of a thousand churches at the top; walking down, one of a hundred fountains splashes at the bottom.  Whoopee.

Scalinata della Trinità dei Monti, aka The Spanish Steps

From there, everything else is a blur.  We saw the Fontaine di Trevi (Trevi Fountain), the Fontaine di Tritone (Triton Fountain, near our hotel), and walked down Via Condotti, the Fifth Avenue of Rome.  Again, maybe it’s fatigue but I was underwhelmed.  One thing I did notice, however, is fur.  From fur-trimmed parkas to fur collars and stoles to full-length fur coats, EVERYONE was wearing fur in Rome.  Fur and over-the-knee leather boots.  Another universal truth? You can spot an American from blocks away by her Uggs and North Face jacket. 

Fontaine di Trevi

Fontaine di Trevi, nighttime

Fontaine di Tritone, nighttime

By the time we reached the Pantheon, I was ready to breeze through and call it a day. But the interior took by breath away. Here, I was impressed. The sheer size, the marble grandeur, the tomb of Raphael!  But most of all, the dome, the largest unreinforced concrete dome ever built. It appeals my sense of symmetry – at 142 feet, the height is equal to its diameter. The oculus, “eye of heaven”, illuminates the dome. In its original glory, the dome was supposed to be lined in bronze, which would have reflected the sunlight, setting the Pantheon ablaze. But centuries of plunder by emperors and popes to line their own war chests and bankroll art commissions have stripped the Pantheon of its burnished luxury.  I can only imagine how much more splendid it would have been to the ancient Romans. 

Pantheon, exterior

Pantheon, interior

We wrapped up the day with gelato from Giolatti (okay gelato but San Crispino is waaaaay better) and then crashed for 13 hours straight.

Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Motto: "Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus"

Never tickle a sleeping dragon.

 
(In case anyone is wondering, why yes, that IS a Ghostbusters chasing Pac-Man t-shirt!)

Proton packs OUT! Power pellets IN!

This is another long and photo heavy post (but totally worth it!)  

The Forbidden Journey is the biggest reason why WWoHP is so amazing. For roller coaster enthusiasts, The Forbidden Journey = Hogwarts + Magic + (Superman Ride)^2. In other words, FREAKING AWESOME. It's unlike any ride I've ever been on, combining 3D, 4D, and real roller coaster motion - totally sick!

 Braving Mt. Fanny Pack was totally worth it.

To get to The Forbidden Journey ride, you enter Hogwarts castle and wind through the castle halls. The castle exterior is so massive that I nearly missed the the entrance to Hogwarts. Past a huge stone entryway flanked by stone pillars, topped with signature winged boars, you see white script blossoming over the Hogwarts crest on the stone facade as if written by an invisible quill-wielding hand - and then disappears like magic! It's nearly impossible to tell how the lettering materializes unless you've pushed past the mountain of fanny packs and mashed your nose six inches away from the transient lettering. (Because I braved Mount Fanny Pack to find out, I'll tell you - embedded fiber optics.)

So, the idea is that the school has welcomed Muggles into their hallowed halls for the first time ever. Meanwhile, Harry, Ron, and Hermione plan to sneak you into a Quidditch match. The plan is for you to meet them in the Room of Requirement and fly out with Harry and Ron (riding brooms) on a school bench that Hermione has enchanted. But you're in for far more than just a Quidditch match!

The line starts in the greenhouse where live exotic plants hang from a paned glass ceiling. A fenced off area houses a row of potted mandrakes and other Herbology tools (rakes, spades, and other toxic plant extraction tools.)

 

Inside the castle, you are greeted by a large, gilded wizard (the architect of Hogwarts, as seen in the Chamber of Secrets movie), with a small lion and badger at his feet and holding a miniature Hogwarts castle in his extended hand. Another gilded wizard (the first Hogwarts headmaster; while the Four Founders were professors, none held the title of headmaster) imperiously points his finger at you.

 I want YOU...for Hogwarts.

In between the golden wizards - the four House point hourglasses!  (Why is Ravenclaw so deficient in gems when they're the brainiest of the lot? Gryffindor is leading the pack here, which means that Harry and Ron probably have not yet had Potions.)

SNAPE: Five MILLION points from Gryffindor!

I'll think of a reason later.

At the end of the hallway stands the giant bronze phoenix statue leading up to Dumbledore's office in the movies. Clearly, I'm just a tad excited to be here. The entire castle is filled with choice nuggets like these from the books and movies. I almost wished the line was longer so I would have more time to SEE EVERYTHING.

 OMG! Faaaaaawkes!

It was too dark deep inside the castle for my camera to take any decent pictures, but you next enter a central hall with huge vaulted ceilings and walls covered in talking portraits, including the Four Founders - Godric Gryffindor, Salazar Slytherin, Helga Hufflepuff, and Rowena Ravenclaw. Gryffindor and Slytherin were easy to find; Hufflepuff was harder to find, and someone had to point out Ravenclaw to me. Anyways, it's quite impressive. I borrowed this picture from Google:

"Helga, dear, do these robes make me look fat?"

Afterwards, you move into Dumbledore's office with cabinets FULL of wizarding gadgets. Even the Pensieve makes an appearance! 

FOR SALE: One Pensieve.
May consider choc frog card trade.

Thankfully, they used the proper stone basin as shown in the Order of the Phoenix movie and not the ridiculous Silver Surfer surfboard that replaced it in the Half-Blood Prince movie. (What the hell, David Yates? WHY? WHY?? You cut me deep.)

Next is the Defense Against the Dark Arts (DADA) classroom where a huge skeleton of something sinister hangs from the ceiling, and jars of pickled things and creepy skulls lurk in windowsills. Holograms of Harry, Ron, and Hermione are beamed onto a balcony where they reveal themselves from underneath the Invisibility Cloak. They convince you to ditch History of Magic and come play Quidditch with Harry and Ron instead! The dialogue is peppered with Ron and Hermione's classic bickering (Ron: Prof. Binns is such a dead bore. Hermione: Ron! Prof. Binns IS dead! He's a ghost! You're so insensitive.)

Right before you board the ride, the Sorting Hat offers bits of sage advice. The pic here doesn't do it justice - it looks so much more sentient in person.

 Oh you may not think me pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A smarter hat than me.

That's it! I won't spoil The Forbidden Journey surprise. Trust me, you'll want to find out on your own.

I died and went to Hogsmeade!

Excuse the shine. It's Florida.

Last weekend, I finally made it to my own personal mecca, the Wizarding World of Harry Potter (WWoHP)! Hallelujah! WWoHP was everything I'd hoped for and more. Universal did an ah-may-zing job recreating the world JK Rowling spent more than a decade inventing (and I spent fangirling over). Their attention to detail was remarkable. We spent 8.5 glorious hours at the park and I still wish I had three more pairs of eyes to soak everything in.

WARNING: This is a long and photo heavy post. (Click on the pics to open a new window and click again enlarge.)

With that kind of warning, you'd think I like to take a lot of photos. Well, what has two thumbs and forgot to charge the batteries in her camera before embarking on the trip of a lifetime? THIS GIRL. My camera died after two hours. Gaaaaah. I'm still kicking myself. Anyways, the photos below are a mix from my camera and crummy iPhone 3GS (not even iPhone 4 or Droid!)

Before I left, my friend Chrissie advised me not to bring my DSLR because you can only bring on the rides whatever fits into your pockets. No bags or purses allowed. (Those must be stowed in lockers, conveniently provided for free for the first 30-40 minutes or so. After that, it's $3/hr! With a crowded park, the locker fees can easily rack up.) So I made sure to bring my point-n-shoot and wear loose jeans with big pockets. Despite the warning, we got lucky - the park was relatively empty. By that I mean, most everyone at Islands of Adventure could be found in Hogsmeade. The rest of the park was empty; we actually walked onto The Hulk and Superman! Jody tells me this is unheard of. Even with the "crowd," we only paid a locker fee once. 

Holy Hogsmeade! 

I really felt like I was in Britain, with tilting buildings and narrow streets. Not all the stores are operational, but the storefronts make you wish they were so you could buy a self-writing quill at Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop, or take home a Mimbulus mimbletonia from Dogweed & Deathcap (also featuring a live, screaming mandrake!) Tomes and Scrolls carries the whole Gilderoy Lockhart collection, including his best-selling autobiography Magical Me. But what I really coveted was Hermione's beautiful, ombre pink chiffon gown for the Yule Ball in the Gladrags Wizardwear display case. *Sigh*

 Zany Zonkos! 

Zonko's is an actual store. Hooray! All of the merchandise is, obviously, jokes and toys and most is for sale - Extendable Ears! Pygmy Puffs! Fanged Flyers! However, for the keen-eyed observer, you can spot merchandise from the books only for display - Portable Swamp, Dr. Fillibuster's Fireworks, and a tangible, hanging recreation of the fire-breathing firecracker that chased down Umbridge. So much fun. I know there are more that I missed, but I was hindered with only one pair of eyes.

Honeydukes!

Honeydukes could give Willy Wonka a run for his candy-coated money. Again, rows upon rows of chocolates and candies, many of which are adapted from the books. I bought a box of Peppermint Toads (delicious!) and hard candies in a Honeydukes jar.

Beauxbaton and Durmstrang!

The Triwizard Rally is a show that takes place several times a day at the top end of Hogsmeade, before you get to Hogwarts. The show features routines from the students at Durmstrang Institute and the Beauxbatons Academy of Magic. The Durmstrang guys were pretty intense; this guy looks angry. Or maybe he just resented wearing a brown polyester uniform and combat boots in 100% Florida humidity. Also, where can a girl get a peaked felt fedora? I want one.

I heard the other show offered is the Frog Choir comprising four Hogwarts students, one from each house, accompanied by singing frogs. I didn't see them at all though, so all I can conclude is that they alternate shows.

Two tidbits before I move on: 1) Moaning Myrtle greets you in the loo; and 2) the park is fun for Potter novices and fans alike. You don't have to achieve fanboy status to enjoy yourself.  But if you are a fan, the park designers hid Easter eggs all over the park. I won't give them away (not that I caught them all anyways), but it's fun to look up and spy, say, a jar of doxy eggs or a pot of bubotuber pus while drinking your butterbeer.

Next up...HOGWARTS! All aboard the Hogwart's Express!

Road Trip, Part 2: The Man from Nantucket

"There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose..." 

Hey now! Get your mind outta the gutter! ;)

"There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket."

To make up for Boston's deluge, Mother Nature apologized with picture perfect weather in Cape Cod.  

We stayed in Hyannis at the Heritage House in a hotel room straight from 1980. I forgot to take a picture but imagine wood paneling, maroon carpet, mauve sheets, matching polyester paisley comforter, and a 13" TV. At least it didn't have rabbit ears. But the hotel was cheap and relatively clean so I didn't complain too much.  

Hyannis wasn't much to write home about. Lots of kitchy shops selling seashells by the seashore and Jimmy Buffet-themed restaurants, like any other harbor town. People go there to catch the ferry to its more famous neighbors, Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket Island.  

Brant Point Lighthouse, Nantucket

The ferry ride to Nantucket took about two hours. Jody looooooves ferries and all things nautical. Me? I was engrossed with Mockingjay. So while Jody ran from bow to stern (back to bow and again to stern), I staked out a shady corner on the deck and buried my nose in Mockingjay.

I'm on a boat!  With my flippy floppies!

MOCKINGJAY!

Nantucket trivia: Nantucket has an island-wide ordinance that all new construction must have cedar-shingled exterior.  That means pretty much everything on the island - be it a house, hospital, gas station, etc. - has the same grey, wooden exterior.  We saw a lot of celebrity-owned houses and yachts, including Tim Russert's house, John Steinbeck's house, and Billy Joel's yacht, just to name a few.

Steinbeck residence

Billy Joel's yacht, "AUDACIOUS"

This windmill is pretty non-descript - just an old windmill that was used to grind corn or flour or something.  But did you know that the sheets on the windmill are removable and were used to control the windmill's speed?  Two sheets were used to grind slowly; four sheets were used to grind quickly.  Three sheets, however, unbalanced the windmill and made it flop around wildly, drunk as a skunk.  Hence the expression "three sheets to the wind"!  Yeah, I shared this picture just to tell that story.

Bottoms up!

Overall, Nantucket and Cape Cod were lovely but not worth a second visit.  Once was enough.  Unless I was invited by the Russert or Steinbeck families to stay in their mansions.  I wouldn't turn down Billy Joel either.  

"Sonny, move out to the country.
Workin' too hard can give you
A heart attackackackackackack"

 Next up...Newport, RI!

Road Trip, Part 1: Chowdah and Lobstah

What comes to mind when you think "New England"? I think of clam chowder (chowdah). But there's got to be more to New England than chowdah, muskets, Paul Revere, and Red Sox baseball, right? For our big "summer vacation" this year, we took a week-long road trip to find out, hitting up Boston, Cape Cod, and Newport. 

I think it's a testament to Boston that I still enjoyed the city even though it RAINED.EVERY.DAY we were there. Three days straight of rain! I had any number of cute summery outfits planned (floral tank! pretty skirt!) that never got used because the high was 60 degrees. Instead, I wore my only pair of jeans every day. But no matter! All you can see in pictures are my raincoat and wellies anyway! 

Boston uniform: red raincoat, black wellies.

Boston uniform: blue raincoat, sneakers.

We stayed at the Newbury Guest House on Newbury St., around the corner from the Boston Public Library.  This library is amazing.  A cavernous marble entrance with a beautifully painted ceiling and tons of Georgian architecture - oh, the symmetry!  I could have wandered its halls forever.

 

We specifically chose to walk the Freedom Trail on Tuesday because the weatherman said it would rain lightly in the morning and clear up as the day went on. PREDICTION FAIL. It rained lightly in the morning and then rained harder like it was hell bent on drenching us. By noon, we were assaulted by gales of umbrella-inverting winds. But we ventured on!  

Massachusetts State House

King's Chapel

 

It was built on a graveyard because no one would sell land to a non-Puritan church. Inside are family box pews, which I'd never seen before. Each pew is located inside a box to preserve warmth in colonial days. The family dog was even welcome in the winter to add warmth! It's still a functioning church today (although I doubt Fido is allowed anymore.)

USS Constitution ("Old Ironsides")

I'm gonna geek out a bit here. I had no idea the USS Constitution was a marvel of naval engineering. We pause for a brief naval jargon explanation, courtesy of Jody and paraphrased by me:

British frigate = small and fast. Weaker firepower. go boom.

British ship of the line = big and clumsy. Lots o' firepower. GO BOOM.

The USS Constitution was part of a new American group of frigates designed to be smaller and lighter than a ship of the line (and therefore faster) but still strong enough to carry lots of cannons (GO BOOM). Over the years, she whooped up on Barbary pirates, English pig dogs, scurvy knaves, and other sons of biscuit eaters, never losing a single battle. America, ___ yeah!

Next time, Fenway!

We had tickets to a Red Sox game that night but it was rained out! My first trip to Boston and I didn't even get to see Fenway. How disappointing! We consoled ourselves with dinner and trivia night at Whiskey's, a local sports bar. We arrived too late to form our own team but somehow wheedled ourselves onto The Blazers. (I think it's because we correctly blurted out (whoops) the answer to "Who was the first scientist to pose a theory that the sun was the center of the universe?"*) 

Jody is uncannily good at trivia. (What is the only country whose capitol city starts with the letter Q?**) We boosted The Blazers from 13th place to 6th! At least until the last round. 

"Three of the top 10 albums in the 90s were soundtracks. Name 2 out of 3."*** Our teammates thought The Crow and Reality Bites. We let them go with it (The Blazers is their team, after all) but we were pretty sure they weren't right.  They weren't.

"This TV drama is the second most Emmy nominated series after Saturday Night Live."**** We answered Law & Order. That wasn't right either.

Next up, Cape Cod!

*Nicolaus Copernicus

**Quito, Ecuador

***The Bodyguard, Titanic, The Lion King

****ER